well i have written this long time ago, but i didn reli go and publish it. so, yea there u go.I hope tat the person who i am writing for will be able to read it.the main point is to tell him, yea i am fine,dun worry i have already get over it. But sadly i know he wont. anyhow,i do feel much more relieved after writing this :)
I am just pondering.
ppl always say what u think will reflect in ur dream
and i already keep telling myself , i even warned myself
controlling myself.
and i thought that i have already getting it over.
i wont have any hesitation or any second thought that will make me chg my mind ever again.
But , i just realised what i am thinking all this while is wrong.
it still sticks inside my brain , hiding somewhere around my heart, and as times goes on , it just got deeper and deeper inside.
the only thing in this world that will grow stronger as time passing on is the feeling when u are missing someone .
who u will probably never see them anymore in ur life.
maybe they are just a stranger , maybe they are just a normal person who happened to talk to you once in a special occasion, maybe they was once a vry important person to you , maybe they are your lover ,maybe they are your family member or maybe they have already gone in this world...
and maybe they are no longer belongs to you anymore...
but the feeling will still stay together with you , all the happy moment , all the memories and time spent.
and when you are convincing yourself, or when you are comforting yourself that you can actually forget about it .
ask yourself, do you really forget about it already ?
or you are just trying to self-hypnosis but actually you still remember every single thing, jus that the feeling aidn that strong anymore compare to last time. and slowly.. the memories fogged out .
and you thought that u already get over it.
until the coming of the vry particular day , at that particular night and in that particular dream.
i dreamed about you .
and i was surprise of what i have dreamed about you. what i have told you , and what i have done to u .
it is just so not me.
and i only found out that actually deep inside my heart or somewhere inside my subconsciousness you are actually still there without me even realizing it.
is just that the feeling aidn that strong anymore. is just that i was too busy to even think about it. is just that i think it is impossible for me to think like this anymore.
and finally it burst out , it break out , it vented。
actually you are still there.
it is 5.29 a.m
and i couldn sleep.
i always wanted to tell you something that i couldn even say out.
you know what
i miss you. but i guess i will never do it again , perhaps i will transfer it onto someone else who reli understand the meaning of this word.
and i have got my answer. but i wont try to get you back again. because i know i have to move on , like what u already did.
To the person who once i loved the most
the anonymous. :)
